The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
