lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
