Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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