Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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