He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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