Pappa wants mamma naked
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
