We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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