You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think my vagina is haunted
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
