I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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