just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
