if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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