I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
