So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
