Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
