Your dad touched me again.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
