Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
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