So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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