life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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