If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
