Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
