drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
