do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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