I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
