he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
