is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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