Are we in a gay sports bar?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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