Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
