its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
