Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
