I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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