it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
