i think i have herpe
just one?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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