apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
