So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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