I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
