Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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