Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
