I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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