Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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