I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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