The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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