I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
