i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
