Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
