People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
