Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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