he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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