Taylor Swift is so right about you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
