I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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