Yo dont text me then not text me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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