i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
