Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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