Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Randomize
